On-a-whim thoughts (repost)

Felt like writing something here since it's been awhile. Something I like doing on a whim: expressing my current thoughts and emotions on stuff that matters, whatever that happens to float in my mind.

Life's been pleasant thus far, I would say. For the past few months, I think I've been too caught up in my self-pity. Always thinking about myself, my emotions, my problems...anything that is related to me. Sounds as though I'm such a selfish person eh? Perhaps I was, perhaps I am still. I don't know though; I really don't.  I'd like to think of myself as a nice, kind, considerate, good-mannered, responsible, efficient person but ahaha, I don't think I have all these criteria in me. Nice and kind? Yes, when I'm in good mood. 

Considerate? I thought I am one, but lately, I realise I'm not at all. Good-mannered...only when I remember (which is ridiculous)? Responsible and efficient...hah, gone are the days where I used to be such a person. Even if I have all these traits, I guess they are beginning to fade, for some unknown reason. Tired of life? But that's nonsense! I haven't experienced much in life, so how is it possible that I am tired of it? I wish I know the answer to this question. I must be missing some clue here.

So yes, my self-pity. I guess I need to get rid of it soon. My complaints in life seem insignificant when I realise the many difficult situations others have gone through. To think that people can endure the tough conditions Life has thrown them and become stronger and wiser...that is something I truly admire, something which I think I would fail in, if I were in their shoes. If I can't even withstand the minor problems in life and only know how to whine over teh same old thing, I don't expect myself to be able to handle greater obstacles. Sometimes I think I am a weak person, a total softie. I seriously hate being one, yet I can't help feeling like one. What rubbish.

I've been thinking quite a lot these days, not because I'm depressed, but it's a whim thing. I realise that I may have said to people that I appreciate my life as it is, but no, to be honest, I've been taking everything for granted. Yes, everything. My self-pity blinds me from being thankful and grateful of how lucky my life is actually compared to many others out there. I've been feeling contented at one point of my life, but somehow, contentment leads to discontentment, which leads to more whining and complaining about petty matters. 

I guess it's time for me to put myself into perspective and see the bigger picture. 

/endrant

Strangers alert (repost)

Lately, I got very frustrated and annoyed by someone whom I've barely known of his background, and this is mainly due to my stupidity. 

It all started when I received a private message by an unknown person here on Fanbox, an African guy. Curious, I clicked on it and read just to know that he was searching for a friend who might likely develop into his potential partner. I replied, saying that I can't become someone like this; at the very most, just as an online friend, no more than that. Mistake One: I replied to an unknown online stranger's message. The next day, he said it was okay and that he was looking forward to our friendship. He gave a little introduction about himself: 30 something years old, a person doing some small business, and asked me to do the same. Despite feeling wary of this, I did gave my name as seen on Fanbox, general intro like I'm a student, thinking that this might not bring much harm. Then, he began to give me his IM address, asking me to add him. I didn't though, but instead, I left him mine. Mistake Two: I continued to reply to his private message. Mistake Three: I gave him my MSN address.

Of course, the consequences are mine to bear. At first, it seemed fine and normal when we chatted. However, things became irritating when he began to send me offline chat messages every single day, asking "Hey dear how are you today?", "please reply me soon" and "I miss you", without miss. Hello, it's not as if I'm your girlfriend kay, mister. Stop calling me "dear" as though we've known each other for long. We're not even close to each other at all. Upon my friend's advice, I quickly deleted his contact. Unfortunately, as I'm using the latest Windows Live Messenger, I couldn't block him from sending me daily offline messages, even more so when his IM address is from an external provider. And now, I'm stuck with receiving daily repetitive messages from him until he decides to give up.



In conclusion: NEVER EVER TALK TO STRANGERS. Little did I realise that this advice does not only apply to the strangers you meet face-to-face, but also the unknown people you come across online. Most importantly, NEVER EVER DIVULGE YOUR PERSONAL INFO TO THEM. You'll never know what they might do with those info in their grasps. 

Hopefully, none of you will repeat my mistakes. It's never pleasant to have such chat messages bothering you every day, not unless you are talking to your special, loved ones. But then, that African guy is definitely not my cup of coffee. But ugh...I cannot believe I am actually this naive to even think of making online friends like that. >.>

Stay positive! (repost)

I have never ever expected myself to get a minor bone fracture and ended up having to behave as though I have been born with only a single upper limb. 

Just yesterday, I was perfectly fine. Things were going normal for me, just the usual university life. Not until a bicycle rammed into mine, throwing me down on the road at a roundabout, and in the process, part of that guy's bicycle hit my left shoulder. I was seriously in deep pain, and I had to cycle back home single-handedly, my left arm dangling at the side, while I told myself to withstand the pain for a little while. As soon as I reached home, I quickly called for a taxi and went to the clinic, only to find that my clavicle was suffering from a crack. Thankfully, it was not dislocated, not a serious injury, but deep inside, I felt so down. The doctor assured me that my bone will be back to normal in two weeks time, but at the moment, I would have to make do with an armsling. The problem is, this is no ordinary armsling. As I have zero knowledge on putting up an armsling back myself should I remove it, the medical officers decided to tape my left arm using some flexible cloth bandages to my body to prevent my hand from moving, which will disrupt the bone healing process. Now, I am like a partial living mummy, with part of my body wrapped with the bandages, leaving only my right hand to perform my daily activities. And let me tell you, it is really uncomfortable. You can't sleep the way you use to, you can't shower like normal, and you can't dress like you usually do. It is like being temporarily handicapped.
                                                                                       
Despite the disadvantages in such a condition, I tell myself to look at the brighter side. Due to this, I began to understand how it feels to be a handicapped person. You can't do stuff like how a normal person could do, unless you have had years of practice, and that takes time. As for me, I have trouble tying up my hair with only a hand (still trying though ahaha~), and I have to stay this way for two weeks. Then I realise, I shouldn't be whiny or moody about this, but I should face this little obstacle with a smile and drive away frowns with cheerful expressions. What is the point of being so down about this when others actually suffer more than you, except they only keep their pains to themselves, enduring their problems with hopes of a better tomorrow? No, I tell myself that I should be optimistic in life, and learn to accept unfavourable situations bravely and realisticly.

I find it amusing that most people who are healthy usually possess pessimistic thinkings, whining about their trivial problems, feeling like it's the end of the world when they have just broke up with their boyfriends or girlfriends, whereas those who are suffering from a certain disease or almost nearing death usually keeps an optimistic view in life, being cheerful despite their sick conditions, facing their troubles with much courage than an ordinary person could and would show. Isn't that weird? Hmm, perhaps people would never learn to appreciate the things they have, not unless they are at the verge of losing them or have already lost them. I realise that people, including me as well, usually take things for granted. I am trying to change that part of me, but it'll take time of course. The important thing is that I try eh? (:

Oh well, a toast to my bone's speedy recovery! Yeah! :D

Being considerate (repost)

I feel that most of us need to learn to have consideration for others.

In my daily encounters, there are definitely incidents where people are always thinking of themselves, acting all selfish and whatnot, especially on the road. Just a few days ago, a group of students, all girls, were taking their own sweet time crossing the road, a junction to be exact, while there were two oncoming cars wanting to cross at the junction. I was riding my bicycle, wanting to cross the junction too, but ugh...those girls were chatting and smiling, slowly walking while we were all waiting for them to cross. I wonder why they can't walk a bit faster and think about others who are waiting on them. Just because we notice them and won't ever try to knock them down, that doesn't mean they can do whatever they like, as though they own the road. Can't they just be more considerate towards others?

Sometimes, I just feel...sad, disappointed even. This is not because of my own personal matters, but due to behaviours and attitudes of people today that are no longer taking others into consideration in whatever they do. Too self-centred, I would say. And I put the blame on the parents themselves. I do believe a child's brought-up very much determines the child's way of doing things. Unfortunately, it seems that most parents are not good role models for their children these days, hence the decline in the number of considerate people. What the world is coming to nowadays...looks like this is going to be my favourite quote for the time being.

You might say, "Heh, you talk like you are an angel or something. Are you actually a considerate person yourself?" Well, not that I want to brag how good I am here, but I do practise having consideration for others. I always remind myself that I don't block people's way when I walk. I always try to make sure and constantly remind myself that I don't make others suffer because of my selfish actions. I admit I may not be totally considerate but at least, I tried. The problem is, many do not care enough to think if their actions would make other's situation difficult.

How much does it take to just consider about others for a while? I wonder...

Between the things you have to do and like to do (repost)

I come to love thinking from different perspectives and think about what others' reactions might be most of the time. If I'm feeling happy, what would other people feel? When I'm sad, what about others? When I face a particular situation, I would act this way, but what about others? Would they have taken the same path as I do, or do they have a better solution to solve the problem at hand? What if I view things from another viewpoint altogether?
 


I feel that it's good to explore about other points of view in order to come to a good conclusion on things. At times, when you get yourself into a bad, unfortunate condition, you might be cursing and wondering why that has to happen onto you and not others. Why, of all times when I am in such a good mood? Why, of all times, when I have something important to do? Why? If you were to take a step back and look at your situation from a different angle, you would then realise that things are not as bad as what you first think it to be. No doubt, it may be an unpleasant happening, but others might have gone through an even worse situation compared to yours, and they are able to face it without much grumbling and complaints about their bad luck. 

I've actually gone through a few bad incidents myself, and I realise that my only reaction would be getting upset and wondering why of all people, that would have to befall me. Slowly, after some time pondering about the matter, it finally hits me that I have been self-centred, expecting only the good things to happen to me, which is actually quite impossible in the world. Upon my realisation, I now learn to accept things as it is with a more optimistic outlook. 

No matter how terrible a situation may seem, things would work out one way or another. (:

Different perspectives (repost)

I come to love thinking from different perspectives and think about what others' reactions might be most of the time. If I'm feeling happy, what would other people feel? When I'm sad, what about others? When I face a particular situation, I would act this way, but what about others? Would they have taken the same path as I do, or do they have a better solution to solve the problem at hand? What if I view things from another viewpoint altogether?
 


I feel that it's good to explore about other points of view in order to come to a good conclusion on things. At times, when you get yourself into a bad, unfortunate condition, you might be cursing and wondering why that has to happen onto you and not others. Why, of all times when I am in such a good mood? Why, of all times, when I have something important to do? Why? If you were to take a step back and look at your situation from a different angle, you would then realise that things are not as bad as what you first think it to be. No doubt, it may be an unpleasant happening, but others might have gone through an even worse situation compared to yours, and they are able to face it without much grumbling and complaints about their bad luck. 

I've actually gone through a few bad incidents myself, and I realise that my only reaction would be getting upset and wondering why of all people, that would have to befall me. Slowly, after some time pondering about the matter, it finally hits me that I have been self-centred, expecting only the good things to happen to me, which is actually quite impossible in the world. Upon my realisation, I now learn to accept things as it is with a more optimistic outlook. 

No matter how terrible a situation may seem, things would work out one way or another. (:

Strong willpower...do you have it? (repost)

Willpower... something which I am seriously lacking of.

It seems that lots of people do not possess strong willpower nowadays. I know I am one, that I do not deny. And I know full well that the absence of strength in willing oneself to carry out important matters actually affect our life in some ways.

My studies, for instance. Ever since I was introduced to an activity called play-by-post roleplaying, which I believe I had mentioned it in one of my earlier posts, I became...addicted to it, even up till now. The first thing that comes to my mind every morning is roleplay, roleplay, roleplay. The new hobby becomes my main priority instead of studies. 

The ironic thing is, I know and understand the dire consequences should I continue placing roleplaying as a must-do activity rather than studying and revising lessons, but still, regardless of that, my heart chooses to ignore the warning of a possible drop in my grades. Logic dutifully reminds me about the effect every day, but Desire gets the best of me and I end up listening to my heart than my mind.



I'm sure that those who are not in my situation would snort and call this as silly. "Come on, you know what would happen if you continue to do so but you still want to do it? What nonsense!" One may comment so. However, it is always the case, where one outside of a situation would be able to see clearly and calculate the pros and cons of decisions, but when you are the one in the situation, it is difficult to make the correct and best choice, just like a game of chess.

After putting some thought into my own reckless behaviour (not that it is entirely bad for me to roleplay a lot; it actually helps to improve my writing, except that I am too focused on that hobby of mine until my studies are more than often neglected), I finally arrive to the root cause of my problem: I lack willpower. Why so? It's because if I have strong willpower, I would not easily give in to my desire to roleplay all the time but persist in managing my time efficiently mainly for studying, only allocating some time for roleplaying. If I have strong willpower, I would not be here, blabbing so much about not studying and whatnots.

My point is, it is important for us to have strong willpower. This does not just apply to me alone (yeah, I know I have almost zero willpower, thank you), but to people from all walks of life. "Why?" you may ask. What is so important about willpower?

With willpower, one would be able to persist on, become optimistic, and manage to get things done in life. Oh, just take a look at me: I did quite badly for my final exam papers because I spent most of my time doing other stuff (watching animes and roleplaying ==) and only flipped through my notes last minute, despite knowing that I should study two three weeks ago. Due to my lack of willpower, I did not push myself to study hard for the exam but I allow myself too much leniency to do the things I like at the wrong time. And despite knowing so, I did not bother to will myself to do the correct thing. That was because of the word willpower. I have close to none.

With willpower, no matter how tough a situation you face, how difficult things may go, how impossible a dream may seem to be, one would still work on to solve the matter at hand.
With willpower, comes perseverance. And perseverance is one vital key that would also take you far ahead in your journeys in life.

Well, this entire post may sound like some kind of rambling from an average kid who has yet to experience the real world but then, I am one who deliberates on human attitudes and behaviours, and life itself.
By the way, I was just exaggerating on my extreme lack of willpower. You don't believe me? *frowns* Do you think I would post this if I have close-to-zero willpower, dear reader? *smiles victoriously* There, you get the point.

Now, tell yourself every day that "I must have strong willpower!"! :)

Wasting time in the fantasy world (repost)

It's always so nice to waste...time.

How ironic, considering that I'm supposed to make full use of my time to study well for my upcoming finals. Instead, I've been lazing around, or rather, too attached to my computer, typing out posts for roleplays, my new hobby. Sigh. Newfound addictions at wrong times are just terrible, disastrous, distracting,....

And so, I've relived my love for writing at inappropriate moments once again. What to do, the urge to write is there and I can't seem to stop it. Urge is far stronger than Logic, so my reasonings lost to my writing desires. Huh. 

I can't figure out the reason why my writing cravings call forth themselves when I am about to sit for my exams. Hmm...is it because part of me had wanted to escape from reality and live in fantasy? It could be possible.



I have always love things to do with fantasy. Books, movies, and now roleplays. Things that might be associated with wizardry, medieval settings, magic and spells, elves, goblins, fairies, dragons, swords, quests, fairy tales, anything out-worldly, unrealistic and not down-to-earth. Imagine if you are in that kind of world. Whoa, things are sure interesting, compared to this mundane world, where things are too practical. Sometimes, it can become too realistic for words that you feel like vanishing from this world and appear anywhere other than there.

Which is why things are made to be balanced in this world. Where you have reality at one hand, you also have fantasy on the other. Reality as in worrying about studies, family, money and relationship problems, and fantasy as in being absorbed into writing and reading fictions, watching fantasy movies and daydreaming. All the while, we have been going in and out of those two worlds unconsciously. Well, at least that's what I think.

Given a choice, I would rather live in fantasy; where dragons roam the lands; the prince ventures out to rescue his beloved princess; magics and spells are common practices; swords, bow and arrows are usual sights; warriors, swordsmen, knights in shining armour, royalties, wizards, magi and other fantasy races are present in the world. Ah, life would be extremely interesting then! I shall have my own dragon, a sword which only I could wield -no- I would rather own a bow and some fine arrows, and...*rants on*
Sigh. See? This is how my time and brain efforts are wasted over thinking such impossible matters, something unrealistic in this oh-so-realistic world. Fine, I guess I have to return back to reality and continue my preparation for my finals. T.T

Seriously, I wish I could live in fantasy and learn magics and.....*rambles on again*

Sticking to safe plans and actions (repost)

Sometimes, it's best to keep to safe plans and actions rather than taking unnecessary risks doing something you are not confident of. 

         It was a rainy day (it's only a drizzle actually :P) when I was returning back home from the university campus. I never like drizzly or rainy days, for they make you feel kinda down and spoil your mood when you are looking forward to bright and sunny days. I had to cycle back, and that was quite uncomfortable during rainy days, or in this case, a drizzly day. It is troublesome to wear the raincoat with the hoodie covering the head as when I cycle, the wind blows against me, and my face is washed(?) with rainwater. Great, helps to clean my face. And the rainwater droplets on my glasses limit my vision. Frowning upon the weather, I made a risky decision: instead of using the raincoat, I planned to cycle with one hand controlling the bike handle and the other holding an umbrella.
                                                              
         The thing is, I've never tried doing something like that before. I couldn't balance myself properly yet with one hand on the handle but then, I launched the idea without thinking much of the consequences. At first, it was all okay...I managed to balance myself fairly. The trouble started when I was approaching the corner of a junction. I knew that I don't have that much ability to be able to turn left smoothly with only a hand on the handle. While I was thinking of my next course of action, my body unconsciously drove my bike to turn left and I went off-balanced and fell almost in the middle of the road. Thank goodness no car or motorcycle happened to pass by, if not it would be a double accident.

         In the end, I got myself unnecessarily hurt on the way back. Gosh, that was the third time I've hurt myself due to incidents associated with my bike. Maybe my bike hates me. * sobs* The only good thing was I managed to keep myself dry from the rain(drizzle...). Coming to think of it, my act seemed to be unworthy after all...

I guess I would not pull that act again until I know how to perfectly balance myself on the bike with one hand controlling the handle...

Sleeping late (repost)

Ringing of the alarm from my handphone.TIME TO GET UP,it seems to say as I silence it with a single press on the 'Turn Off' button.

Oh right.It's yet another new day.

Gah,I still want to continue sleeping!,my mind protests as I groggily get up from the bed.I look into the mirror and frown.More pimples and dandruff flakes.And tired eyes.Great,the effects of sleeping late and waking up early almost every day.

Oh,I knew that having staying up till very late at night is seriously bad for health.Due to that,I find myself often feel sleepy in classes and I'll start to go "fishing" during lectures.I try telling myself to go to bed at 10pm,but little did I realise when I look at the time,it's already half past twelve in the morning.And all the while I've been dawdling over my work.Daydreaming while thinking of the discussion part for my Organic Chemistry report.Facebooking when I'm supposed to finish writing the script for my upcoming sketch presentation.There goes my precious time for sleeping.

And the cycle continues to repeat itself.Late night,early morning,dawdle,procrastinate,daydream,late night again.The lifestyle of most university students,perhaps.Nah,just blame it on my lack of self-discipline.
How ironic when you know the bad effects of sleeping late and yet you still want to do it.

Yawns.I think I'm half-asleep when I'm typing this.Eyes half-closed.Wait,what have I been talking about?ZzZzZ.

Working with people (repost)

Sometimes,it may be a little difficult working with people.Especially those who are new to you.Even more when you have communication barriers.

         I just had my meeting with my fellow group mates regarding our sketch presentation for Effective Communication Skills (ECS).At the moment,we do not have an official group leader,as we do not plan to elect one yet.However,I think we sort of know who's the leader in our group,judging by everyone's personality and the way they speak.

         Well,the main agenda was to decide on a storyline for our 20-minute sketch comprising of six people,including me.Basically,I had two ideas and I told them with much difficulty,considering that they love speaking in Mandarin and I am more comfortable conversing in English (my Mandarin is not very good).The ideas were supposed to sound funny,but somehow they couldn't pull off the trick due to communication limitations.My members did not get the joke.Sigh.Gah,I should have pick up my Mandarin whenever I could.

         Each of us had quite different point of views.I am the type who prefers something that is meaningful and portrays moral values.I was thinking of doing something more original,something where others have never think of it.However,my group mates are the type who focus more on the humourous aspect and anything out-of-the-world,time-travelling,magic and fantasy.Not that it is bad,in fact it's the kind of sketch that would draw the audience's attention to the sketch.Somehow,I felt from the way our discussion was heading to,our sketch is going to be quite clichéd,the normal fairytale kind.Probably I was having too high an expectation on how our sketch should be.I had wanted a more original and professional play.

         During our discussion,I was quietly observing my group members,occasionally contributing ideas whenever I should.I noticed that there's one who is quite self-centered.I think she's saying "In my opinion..." in Mandarin,but somehow those words seem to center heavily on the word "I".There's one who is quite passive in the group,and another who is actually full of ideas but she doesn't want to complicate the discussion further.The thing is,all of us are not of the same frequency.The meek and passive ones would have to tune into the frequency of the more active ones.That's always the case when working within a group.Either you lower your level to be the same with others,or others would have to raise their level to be on the same level as you.

         I came to realise one thing: All of your ideas may not be accepted,maybe because your ideas aren't good,or you fail to get the message across,or you just don't have enough persuasive skills to convince others that your ideas work.You may feel dejected,but learn to adapt and flow with the group.Other's viewpoint may not be that bad after all,although they may not be up to your personal expectations.You are not working alone;you are now working with a group of people.Everyone is dependent on one another.Learn to accept other's opinion and think out of your shoes.With that,working with people would be much more easier and smoother.  

         At the end of our discussion,we decided on the fairytale-kind of sketch.I offered to write the script for them as I know they might have a problem when it comes to writing a script in English.Initially they suggested to write the script together,but I know very well in my heart doing things like this will never get us anywhere in time for our sketch rehearsal and presentation day.

And now,I'm tied down with an extra job.For the group's sake,I shall do it!
:)

Mind your manners! (repost)

Mind your manners,mister! I cried in my brain.I was walking behind a man ,who looked to be in his forties,on my way from the parking area to Tesco's side entrance.He was definitely taking his own sweet time ambling,but that was not my concern.The thing that annoyed me was he was walking and spitting on the ground,not only for once,but I counted thrice.Three times,spitting along the way as though he owns the place.What kind of people we have nowadays?

         It is sad or rather disappointing to know that we have more and more bad-mannered people in today's society.Step out of the house,and you see your neighbour looking at you for a moment,then walks into the car and goes off without even a word of greeting,although you make the effort to smile at him or her.Take a walk in the park,and you see a child throwing an ice-cream wrapper on the grass and walks off licking his or her prized treat,the wrapper adding to the littered surroundings.Come back home,and you see "freshly-produced" dog faeces awaiting right in front of your gate,acting as a welcome-back-home present.Great.You wonder if the dog's owner actually does have a brain.

         Good manners and behaviours are no longer part and parcel in our daily lives.Gone are the days where students respectfully greet their teachers whenever they see them and have the initiative to help them carry books and other things when in need.Gone are the days where people apologise when they knock into someone's shoulder or when they are conscious of their mistakes.Gone are the days where people speak with politeness when interacting with others.

         And the root cause behind the bad mannerism?Why,it definitely comes to family upbringing.It all starts from the parents or guardians,who are the role models for the children.If they adopt bad manners and behaviours,the children are sure to follow them.If no effort is taken to teach them the proper things,when they become adults,the chain of bad mannerism and behaviours will continue until someone comes to a point of realisation that it is not the right thing to do and breaks the chain.Of course,there may be other factors,like bad influence from peers,but it all goes down to family upbringing. 

"What a terrible fellow,"I said to myself.The man had disappeared into the building.I sighed.Imagine if someone unlucky were to accidentally step on his spit.If there are more of this kind of people like the man,life is going to be a little unpleasant.Shaking my head at his actions,I carefully treaded past the area and walked thoughtfully into the same building.

Skipping classes and being absent from school (repost)

I wonder if skipping classes or being absent from school have become a popular habit among students.

I still remember,as a little kid in primary school, it was instilled in me that it is not right to be absent for classes unless there's something urgent to do,for instance,attending your close relative's funeral or house-moving. The only times I was forced to be absent from school were during my house-moving event and the death of my paternal grandmother,both happening when I was studying in my secondary years. Other than that,regardless of whether there are replacement classes on Saturdays,I would faithfully make myself present for lessons.I never like missing classes.If I do,I would feel very bad.

However,a lot of students nowadays are actually getting into the habit of skipping classes and being absent from school often.You can observe this kind of scenario in secondary schools,especially in universities and colleges,where most students are no longer under their parents' supervision and they are given the freedom of choices.There is no one to force them to attend lectures and tutorials;the choice is up to them whether they want to do well in their tertiary studies or flunk it.Of course,the lecturers will be giving advices to pull them back to the right track but again,the students make the final choice.As for secondary school students,some of them even take "sick leaves" from school to go for a short vacation with their parents.Sick,huh? 

Well,who else is to be blamed but the parents themselves?If parents have inculcated in their children of the proper things to do at a tender age,then there shouldn't be any bad habits such as ditching classes for personal purposes.The most common excuse would be "Oh,I need to use the time to study for the upcoming exams".For goodness sake,this is such a debatable statement.Why do you need to make use of the time for attending classes to study for exams when you could have spent an hour or two daily on revision instead of wasting your time by playing around?This just shows that you have bad time management.And isn't it ridiculous when you find that your exam grades still drop although you have skipped classes for exam studies?

Skipping classes may seem to be normal and acceptable among students but in actual fact,it reflects a person's personality and attitude,and also,the family upbringing.Imagine,if this habit continues on in working life,it will only give the employer a bad impression.What's more,the "I'm sick" excuses won't work anymore.

New hobby: Roleplaying! (repost)

Ah, I have found a new hobby a few days ago! It's play-by-post roleplaying!

Initially, I did not know anything about roleplaying. I had thought of it as something to do with dramas and sketches, but no, it wasn't that. My friend told me about it and sent me links to some roleplaying sites to have a clearer picture to what roleplaying is all about. That was how I learnt about the term.

Doing roleplays was something different; it was a whole new experience to me. To those of you who are unaware of it, roleplaying is the act of posing yourself as another character and here in play-by-post roleplays, you assume the role of a character, usually created by you or the Gamemaster, in a particular story or setting. There are two types of roleplays, one-on-one roleplay and group roleplay. In one-on-one, you roleplay with only one person whereas in group roleplay, as the word suggests, you roleplay with a group of people. The Gamemaster, who is the one who gives the idea of a story, will post the story's introduction in a thread started by him or her, and you as one of the characters involved, will post in the thread regarding your character's actions and thoughts in response to the plot of the story. In one-on-one roleplays, the Gamemaster is usually involved actively in the roleplay. In group roleplays, the Gamemaster may or may not be actively involved in roleplaying. Others playing their own characters will post about their respective characters' doings in continuing the story, including you. This will go on and on until the Gamemaster decides to end the roleplay.






Being someone who loves to write, it has become a newfound passion to me. Almost every day, I'll be logging in to the sites and posting up my replies to the roleplay threads I've gotten myself involved in. I found that ever since I have joined the roleplaying community, I have been more confident of my writing skills, partly because I am able to gain instant feedback from other roleplayers about my writing skills, if I ask them that is. This really helps me to improve in my writing, besides having fun unleashing your creativity and imagination as in how you make your character respond to the given situations.

Well, I'm really into roleplaying nowadays. If you are one who loves writing and are now itching for something different, something to express the wilder side of you by letting your creativity and imagination run freely using words, I suggest you to indulge in roleplaying.

*battle cries* HYAAAHHH! Roleplays, here I come! :P

Yummy, yummy, Lazy, lazy~ (repost)

Oh fine,I admit that I'm seriously still on a baking spree.I baked a batch of chocolate rice butter cookies recently on Thursday and just yesterday,when my house-mate said, "I suddenly feel like eating a cake.",I was more than eager to bake a cake for the three of us to eat (the three includes me and my two house-mates,Velerynn and Kate).We shopped for the necessary ingredients and we finished baking at about five in the evening.And of course,when the much awaited cake was finally ready to be eaten,we helped ourselves to it.Haha,to think that I have so much time to bake,considering that I have a Biology test coming...

         I may look as though I'm so hardworking and energetic,as in baking twice for the week.In fact,I feel quite lazy...I have a greater inertia to remain on my chair in my room during the weekends,facing my computer screen the whole day,going online like nobody's business.I guess that's basically what most youths are doing,but in my case,I think I'm in the extreme category.That spells BAD.WASTING OF TIME AND ELECTRICITY.When I could actually do something else more healthy and beneficial,maybe like reading (*whines*but I have no reading materials except...lecture notes?! *wails aloud*I want to read fictions! :'[ ),writing (yeah,I'm doing that on the com ;) ) and exercising (I cycle everyday so maybe I can skip that? :P).
          I guess when you are living on your own,no longer under your parents' wings,you tend to get off track most of the time.I could clearly remember my father telling me and my siblings the time frame for playing computer games,which at most is two hours for the three of us,and we have to divide the given time to forty-five minutes per person.And the usual scenario happens:someone would be taking away the alloted time of the other.Haha.Talk about bad time management.
         I could also recall my mother bustling around in the house,nagging to the three of us to clean our study table,which are constantly messy:rubber dusts,used papers,study books that we seldom open and read,my little brother's stacks of Pokemon drawings and playing cards, small toys and keychains,etc etc,make the beds and wash our school uniforms,shoes and socks.Those were the times we,at the rebellious stage,always grumble about the chores.Now,ever since I'm on my own living together with my house-mates,I find that without being under the watchful eyes of my parents,all the bad traits start to grow:Procrastination,Laziness,Staying up until very late at night,so on and so forth.Well,maybe some of you may not have this kind of situation.If so,I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart that you are actually a person with great discipline and control,unlike me... :P
Okay,now I start to feel a little guilty.Maybe I should put some effort to exercise self-control.Hmm,will see,will see~

I hate this part of me where I'm being...

Demanding.

Inconsiderate.

Selfish.

Whiny.

Doubtful.

Lifeless.

Sometimes, I just feel like that when I look at how I behave, how I talk, how I see things...I can see all those qualities in me. Problem is, the "sometimes" is just too much, that it gets repetitive. And then I'll go "Oh my, I'm repeating this same old thing again..." and then I'll stop, and before long the whole procedure is gonna be repeated...again. I wonder if somebody set them on repeat mode. Then again, I think that somebody must have been me all along.

I've tried to control myself: whenever I feel like that, I pretend that I'm fine and keep whatever feelings I have in me to myself. Result? I feel worse, as though my heart is filled with mercury, slowly poisoned by self-pity and emo-ness and there's a heavy feeling that makes you very uncomfortable. Right. Another approach that I've taken, or rather, still taking, is that I pour out my emotions to someone close, everything. Result? Oh yes, I feel much better,  but then what comes next is the feeling of guilt, that I've troubled that someone with all my whiny nonsense and problems that appear to be big but are actually small petty matters easily handled with a clear, calm mind. It's like a love-hate thing; you don't want to trouble others yet you want them to listen to you, comfort you and set your world right again with just simple words of advice and encouragement.

Sigh, I don't know. I thought I've lost these unpleasant moments of emo-ness for good a long time ago, but somehow, they came back. Wonder why...maybe it's just me, since I like to think a lot and just make things worse with all that unnecessary thinking. Hmm.

Oh well, I shall /endrant with this song, My Immortal by Evanescence. Not that the lyrics describe my situation or how I feel now, but the melody does that.   

Restless.

The night's quiet and peaceful, yet I can't help feeling somewhat restless inside. Maybe it's because the night is void of lively activities to keep the mind away from slipping into boredom and loneliness. What is there to do? There's studies for finals, listening to music, watching videos, gaming, reading, chatting...but hmm, all those don't seem to be able to subdue the restlessness. I've been studying almost the whole day (ineffective revision though heh <.<), listening to some favourite songs with repeat mode on, watching Tangled the movie and crying at parts that touched my heart, gaming with a friend on LoL only for an AI game...but all that could only do that much to keep me entertained temporarily. Don't feel like picking up a book to read for now, nor doing any writing. Chatting does wonders, except the person I want to chat with isn't around. : /

Sigh, maybe I should just wish the world goodnight now.

*wishes a silent goodnight*

I wish.

The longings, the pain.

The heavy feelings inside.

Sometimes in life, you just wish that things could be simpler. You just wish that whatever you wish for would happen for real, right now. But life isn't a fairytale or a fantasy world where magical things happen; you don't simply get what you wish for. You have to either work hard to make that wish come true, or just continue wishing for all you care. That's reality; that's life.

Yet...

I wish.

I just wish.

I keep wishing...

...because it helps me pass the time. It allows me to think of the things I want to do, all the pleasant stuff, the nice moments, which could turn into great memories to be cherished later. I want to work to make it come true, but circumstances do not allow me to do so...for now. All I could do now is to wish and wait.

Wish and wait...

...and wish and wait.

And wait, I will. I will wait.

Just feeling like writing part of whatever that's inside me here, to express how I feel a bit. But I know it takes time for that heavy feelings to move on..